I wrote this last night and emailed it to myself. Here's a look at my thoughts last night after a brief discussion with my mother:

who the fuck do you think you are?

fuck you. fuck you if you think you’re any better than me. because you’ve made mistakes, as have i. we all make mistakes. and as i sit here on the BART train home i can’t help but write this down. people don’t(can’t) understand why i want this life. why i’m raising two middle fingers to college with a smirk and a quick “fuck your stupid college” and devoting my time and life to this “silly music thing”.

fuck you. this “silly music thing” is what keeps me going. its my euphoria, my sanity, my LIFE. id be long gone without it. i can honestly say punk rock saved my life. no, not just punk. MUSIC. its not about the 75% of music looking to write a hook and catch your eye. its about those artist who poured their heart and soul out for you onto an album, bearing everything they’ve got because they want you to know they’re just like you. they bleed like you, swear like you, and they know how it feels.

this “silly music thing” isn’t just dancing and going home. its offering your house to five tired guys and their van/car. its offering a shower or dinner to some band skirting from city to city on fumes. its offering your house or backyard for a show because the promoters that are supposedly professionals didn’t book it or it got canceled. its pouring all you have into keeping this “scene” alive. its clapping for the openers and buying the merch of those same poor bands you bought dinner.

its when you take a bite out of the normal society and give them a big fuck you! its playing your instruments for hours on end because its your only escape. its feeling the kick drum in time with your heartbeat and the feedback in your soul. its when you pour your heart into lyrics and music so that people can see that they have someone they can relate to. its pouring your every fiber, every penny, every breath, and every sigh into the disappointment and hurt. its showing the world that you’re going to always fight, no matter what.

this “silly music thing”? FUCK YOU for even calling it that. for bringing it down to make it seem like its nothing important. sure, its dirty, hard, and out of the norm. but fuck you, its all i (and many others) have got. its a family that is all over the world, waiting and ready to help. its people you don’t know getting you from JFK, LAX, O’hare because they understand and are willing and ready to help you. fuck all of you who think its a waste of time.

because you know what? you may have the picket fence, the dogs, the cars, and the money. but we have a tighter family thn you’ll ever have that extends to every corner of the world and we do it harder, better, faster, and with more passion and love than you could EVER even THINK of putting into something. so fuck your 9-5s and your suburban homes.

this lifestyle is more than just a song we enjoy.



NOTE: This is a public post (and one of the ONLY public post I have) because I feel like so many people agree. ALSO POSTED HERE, FOR YOU TUMBLR NERDS